An escape from reality

This LJ is more or less abandoned. *cackles* It's now mainly for experimenting with LJ customization.

OH. MY. GOODNESS. A MSD Hewitt 2nd!!! Now just isn't the little boy adorable?

LJ is set back to dark colours.

It seems to fit me better this way ...

It's absolutely exhilarating to have a breath of freedom after weeks of working nonstop. Might still have two group projects to complete, but they shouldn't take much time.

Besides, first semester ends next week. Looking forward to it definitely. Hope that will be able to find a part-time job in the long Christmas break when done with those two days of examination in mid-December. Should also begin studying for A-Levels since not much time is left.

University life is both demanding and wonderful at the same time.

i miss home internet use bad. 8 days of school left but i haven't yet started revising for my mocks, which start on valentine's day. go me and my incredible laziness. am practically repeating the same pattern daily after getting on the van and return to our temp home. call my mother, take bath, flip over textbooks/notes, pack my bag, drift off to slumberland, wake up by mother to have dinner, some flipping over again or last minute revision, then go to bed again.

...


this is ridiculous.

half-slept during the double economics lessons before recess. i am going to see what screwy words i had written and try to tidy them up a bit before lunch.

i am starved of the internet. bad.

10 days of holidays were not holidays at all. even though i went out to have brunch with my mother a few times, most of the holiday was spent organizing my notes and freezing my ass off even with a thick blanket over my poor legs =.=''

it's a relief though, that show lent me her 'the silent force' cd to keep me sane when i went back for 12 hours of extra lessons last week. so in a way, a week and more the holidays might have been but last week felt like half day school nonetheless.

5 more weeks until mock exams.

still no idea when the fuck we could move back to tseung kwan o. i miss paradise. i miss chung wah book shop. i miss bauhaus, strawberry forever, h2o+, levi's store. i miss the area fit to be called my home.

... also had bloody intensive verbal fights with my father last night. jolly good. wasn't able to study for today's chin lang. and culture test until midnight stroke 'cause tv was on like the entire day. i really could use some deep sleep right now.

insomnia is returned and the current temp home is like noisy 24/7. what miracle that i survived the past month.

busy weekend with finishing my share of written contribution for the chinese lang. and culture project which due tomorrow. had sorta fight again last friday with one of my groupmates and we still aren't talking to each other. doesn't matter though. i won't die or feel sad just because i am not talking to her. it's not like it'll kill me to lose her friendship.

i miss going to the arcades more, to be honest. plus i still ain't got no lovely clothes for christmas party on wednesday.

i need sleep T.T;; am very very tired after bustling my brain in oder to do the questions for the business studies test before lunch. even though i did the case studies for around 5 times each before the test, when i was actually doing them, i forgot to minus the initial investment or the prove for the internal rate of return ._.'' must remind self to do them again real soon.

... then again, don't really fancy redoing them soon because half of this year's christmas break is going to be spent on extra make-up lessons for econ and business studies. le sigh desu.

... also miss going online with my own computer. T-T;; i need to websurf wildly. i need my daily dose of fun. a LOT.

... also need new clothes. want ones that are similar to those in seventeen.

i have never been more ashamed of my parents than i am now. i feel truthfully humiliated by them to say the least. just when would the both of them act their fucking age and behave like responsible parents should? what happened at school in the past two days were more than enough to put me in deeper shame. when my teachers talked with me, i was really ready to dig a hole and never come out again.

and i thought i had been frustrated enough as i am. how bloody wonderful and generous of my parents to did that to me.

yayness. it's friday at long last and this means waking up later tomorrow morning. though am having econ quiz in additional to chin. lang and culture test on tuesday, nothing is going to take this giddy mood away from me shortly.

going to mongkok with Show after school and i am definitely going to buy the seventeen magazine, which i must have said to Show around a zillion times now. hope i can also go to langham place's muji to restock my lovely highlighters. muji's stationery are among my top favourites and i haven't visited that place for a very long time.

thanks to the lord that the week flies by quick. i could really use more rest. i can't quuite remember the last time i have felt so grumpy.

btw, when is the extended version of 'return of the king' coming out in local stores? =|

if i had thought life was terrile before, the life i am leading now is absolutely a living hell. it has to be the toughest yet and i am like, really, REALLY surprised that i haven't gone completely insane. yup, insane, seriously. screw whatever i've said in the past. i am facing the worst yet.

first of all, the tempoary apartment my mom and myself are staying in is absolutely crap. that tiny prison is definitely unlike anything that i have seen in the past. ironically enough, even a public bathroom is a hell lot better than the one we've got. the showering area is tiny tiny and the shower tries my patience daily. second, there's not a kitchen, which means i'll be eating takeaways until mid-january or february. not that i haven't already had it for two+ weeks. we also have no separate rooms and there's just enough space for one single bed. my mother is sleeping on the floor now and my father is not coming back to this so called home unless it's in the weekend.

besides, we have not a telephone line so that means no internet access until we move again. of course, i can always go online at school. alas, that would be rare as well for i always have work to do during free lessons. -_-;;

what's more, all my manga, anime dvd/vcd, lovely anne rice and jrr tolkien and other novels, cds, movies, artbooks and some other miscellaneous stuffs are put in storage too. so now i am really stripped of everything but a tv with only 4 channels and less than 10 books for reading purpose. plus i must have emptied about 80% of my wardrobe and now i have less than 10 outfits that i can wear for going out.

which means, for the christmas which is less than three weeks away, is definitely going to my worst ever yet. which also means, unless i'm going back to school for extra lessons, i'll be a living ghost at the prison and blaming my father for everything that he has cost us since gracious knows when.

the only one thing that i am pleased is that i can sleep until 7.15 in the morning. but i'd rather wake up before 7 and walk back to school at kowloon tong station. even though i got to sleep 30 minutes more, i am not used to this lifestyle. i miss tseung kwan o, i really do. i can't help asking my mother daily when the hell we can move back. kowloon city is not a place fit to be called home, for me.

i don't think i have sounded more cynical for a farking while. amen.

ps. the pandas in hong kong are sooooooooo friggin' adorable. went to ocean park for picnic last week and took some pictures. hope to see them again soon xP

pps. go to mongkok and buy either non-no or seventeen or some other japanese magazines. am in dire need of japanese fashion.

ppps. i hope i will be able to key in another entry or two before friday.

Well. I should celebrate. I am all but abandoned by my parents. Basically because I am currently "taking them for granted" and "all that I care about is the computer every time they walk past my room."

I can't help it that they do not see me doing my revision. I can't help it that they fail to see all those precious moments when I am busting my brain to understand the context. Taking a break is a sin, while studying like a nerd is the greatest virtue. Asian parents are truly all alike.

So I am left to my own devices now. Just exactly what I need when I could use some advice regarding my university programme choices. Jolly good.

It's settled. I shall not go for my interest. I can only think about which course will yield the greatest return. No one is going to feed me. Thus, I shall from this time onwards conceal all my emotions. I have swallowed enough defiance in the past year. A bit more won't hurt.

It's all about getting used to.

oh my GOODNESS! who would have thought going to university open days could be so exhausting? >_< i am both utterly tired and starved as though i have never known the pleasures of human life. then again, shouldn't complain about it 'cause if i didn't manage to meet carrie, cherrie and candy out of the blue, i wouldn't have gotten such informative details regarding the programmes i have grown a strong liking to since i visited HKU last year. thus, even though i had to venture to pok fu lam on my own, it was in fact quite an rewarding trip xP

on a BJD related note, Luts' Lishe looks so MUCH better in real life. none of the photos i have seen online does the lady justice =.=''

eyes are hurting from staring at the computer for too long. me be stupid for torturing myself @_@;;

neways, am going to sign off now since wasted the day without doing my duties (homework + revision + tidying room + bath + laaaaaate dinner + checking jupas guide before going to bed). should do as much as possible after shower + hair washing...

going to LU with emily and zuyi in the morning, too. don't know whether should go to HKU alone afterwards or go there on Sunday with mother. harumph. am definitely confirming the programmes oneself is interested in this week then am going to prioritize preferences asap.

sigh busy crazy life prolly won't stop for several days until end of october. thank goodness this month passes faster than last month. september WAS hellish.

Did I also say I bought EXODUS at a price below HK$100? XDXDXD

I am not getting Maksim's new album until Christmas. I haven't bought myself a decent Christmas present for years. That one should make up for it. Perhaps I should also get Bellfire's Spin the Wheel, The Corrs' Borrowed Heaven, Arvil Lavigne's Under My Skin or P!nk's "Try This" to treat myself. Hmm so many fabulous CDs. Though I have downloaded the full album of the last 3, owning the actual CD will make me happier.

*shakes head violently*

Save up. Save up. Save up. SAVE UP! and think later. Not the right time for such luxuries yet. I am making progresses and there are more important things to worry about.

Going to take a quick shower then I'll revise Econ for Charlotte's lecture of tomorrow. Hm.

I now want to watch all of some Audrey Hepburn movies after watching "Breakfast at Tiffany's" last night. Understand now why the late actress was such a legend. She really was truthfully talented and captivating.

Don't know what's with the "R" rated thing about "American Beauty". There's nothing too explicit about the movie except Mena Suvari showing her nipples nearing the end. Penelope Cruz showed hers in "Vanilla Sky". Kate Winslet did too in "Titanic". American Beauty is just another mediocre movie. *shrugs*

Two Hewitt again on Y!Japan Auction. Alas, giving up on the little boy. .... or not. Don't know yet. So farking frustrated lately. What with choosing university programmes, dealing with loads of homework and revision and tuition I feel privileged to say I have not yet entered total insanity. Thus, taking day off again because it's swimming gala today. Several classmates of mine aren't going anyway. So what's the big deal? I am not going to waste myself from 8am to 4.30pm at the spectator's stand and doing absolutely nothing. I am no longer a house official I have no obligation to attend. As long as I am able to supply a doctor's sick leave/attendance certificate no one can argue that I ain't ill. 'Cause in retrospect, I am spotting a headache for the umpteenth time and my body aches all over, along with running nose and itchy throat and unexplained fatigue. Even the doc said I must have contracted the flu as a result of the changing weather. Amen.

Sigh. I should have known the harmony between my parents was faked. Mom is cursing my irresponsible father AGAIN and making enemies of her siblings, who are all persistently trying to convert her into Mrs Obedient. It's not like just because we discuss our recurring problem with you, we have to accept your help if it's against our will. If you are so pissed about our decision, you shouldn't have offered help at first. You just can't force people to do things reluctantly.

Life is becoming increasingly shitty, as always. Unless mom finds another apartment, doubt the situation can be better soon. Our problems are our own. No one needs the details. End of discussion.

LOVE you too, irregular Auntie Mensturation.

Yuu: *glances* .... *breathes* How did you manage to maintain your calm, Mistress?

Skye: *shrugs* Well, I try. Can't be Miss Explosive all the time now, can I? I have to grow up and accept the hardships, anyway.

Yuu: In your mother's words, "worry nothing but your studies"?

Skye: Guess you can say that.

Yuu: I am scared. This is abnormal of you.

Skye: Whatever you say, my brat prince. *squishes chibified naked little yuu and nuzzles his neck*

Aya: O_O YOU ras---

Miwa: *clamps hand over Aya's mouth* Not now, my dear. Let her be or you will get us all killed.

Toshi: She is right, you know. Serenity is definitely NOT normal of our mistress.

*sigh* have doubts about which subjects to put for JUPAS. so troublesome don't want to care anymore..... but if i don't get it straight now, i don't know where i'll be same time next. ¬.¬;;

volks' new standard bjds are all mutants. SO scary =.=''

dear me, i had such a busy crazy week. i am most proud to say i survived it all O_O

going to baptist university and poly u. in the morning. after going to poly, i think i am going to head down to hmv to see if they have the video i am looking for. am glad i have helen to check out two programmes at BU. am not pleased, however, that show stood me up and now i have to visit poly u alone.

no breath of freedom until next wednesady.

so sad.

i can't help it, honestly. but the more i stare at this lj, the more in love i am with the colour scheme chosen and especially the new pattern background uploaded....! i admit that the current background is so busy that it confuses the eye. i also won't deny, however, that it looks great. i must therefore now thank imgbucket for deleting my uploaded pictures so i could make some kind of a change.

i am la genius XDDDDDDDD

sometimes i just need to release the less than optimistic side of me. i can't trust anyone. i don't want to trust anyone. nor can i believe. if i do, i will only get hurt... will i be able to break free of my cage someday? i don't want to be trapped here forever... i crave freedom. i aspire to explore what potential is hidden inside of me. i wish to forget about everything and indulge myself... but above all, i crave the time to do everything i want...